


Doubting Castiel...

by zibal_01



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-30
Updated: 2010-09-30
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zibal_01/pseuds/zibal_01





	Doubting Castiel...

** Doubting Castiel... **

The rain pounded on the outside of the Impala.  Dead Winchester stared out of the window, through the rain, to where Castiel sat on the bench.  He was soaked to his vessel's skin, shoulders hunched up to his ears.

 _Zachariah_

The name echoed through Dean.  For an angel he could be a total bastard.  Dean pushed the name from his head; Castiel needed him, needed him to focus on his own angel, not his angel's "superior". 

When had Dean started thinking of Castiel as his "own angel"?  Had it been when Cas had been dragged back to Heaven?  Or when he had heard that Cas had died?  And did it really matter?  All that mattered was that Castiel needed him to be here, and Dean was.

The rain pounded on the outside of the Impala.  Dean Winchester opened the door, braced himself against the rain, and climbed out.  Seconds later, before he was halfway to Castiel, he was soaked to the skin.

 _Castiel_

God must be really angry.  Castiel had defied orders from Heaven - incurring God's wrath for protecting Dean.  Again.

The rain pounded the pavement.  Dean Winchester, soaked to the skin, collar turned up offering little, if any, protection against the rain, crouched in front of Castiel; his angel; his friend.

"You're wet," Dean commented, stating the obvious.

Castiel looked through Dean, at Dean, as if waking up, "So are you," he replied wryly.

"That I am," Dean smiled.

"You'll catch pneumonia, you idiot," Castiel's words could have hurt, but his tone was soft.

Silence descended.  Dean moved to sit beside Cas, waiting for his angel to speak, to tell him what Zachariah had said, what his punishment would be this time.

"It hurts, Dean," Castiel spoke into the silence, faraway look in his eyes, voice faint.  Dean waited for him to continue.  The silence stretched, before Castiel broke it, "I don't want to be dragged back to Heaven again; banished from Earth.  I've got friends here... you here," his voice cracked; Dean moved closer.  "It's all about the party line, following orders that come down the chain of command," Castiel continued.  "I don't know if I can anymore.  I have too many doubts.  But I have to.  That's the bottom line, or I'll..." He broke off, unable to continue.

"... be dragged back to Heaven, banished from Earth," Dean finished softly.

Castiel looked at Dean, "I don't even know who the orders are coming from.  It's a question of faith, and" Castiel's gaze returned to the horizon, "I don't know if I have enough anymore."

"You have to Cas.  Without you, we're lost... humanity will be wiped out," Dean took a deep breath.  "I know you have your doubts - hell, who doesn't - but I also know that I need you.  Without you, I'd be torturing souls in the Pit, or be a demon..."

Silence returned, comforting, allowing the words to sink in, their meaning to be fully understood.  Castiel still stared into the distance; Dean at his hands.  The rain continued to fall, more heavily than it had been, but both angel and man were oblivious to it, both lost in their thoughts.  Castiel knew the doubts would remain, knew that until he actually met his Father that he would not regain his faith.  He just had to deal with whatever the future held the best he could.  He had never realised how difficult decision making could be, but now he knew, and had to make one.  He stood.

"Come on, Dean," he smiled, "we've got to get out of this rain."


End file.
